23 December, 2010

so far so good..

we've made it to double figures, 10 weeks along now.

i've had a few scans as i had some bleeding and the baby is happy and healthy with a strong heartbeat for now so fingers crossed.

going ok except i've managed to seriously hurt my back so getting around and doing things for the kids is a bit of a challenge. hopefully in the next couple of days things will improve.

little bean is growing, growing..

until next time...

15 December, 2010

oh how you've grown

my dearest lara-grace,

wishing you a very happy 5th birthday for today.

i remember the day i met you like it was just last week and i can't believe 5 years have passed us by.

you are off to prep next year and we have some uniforms for you already. you are very excited and also very ready for this next stage in your life.

you are also very excited that we are having another baby and you can't wait to meet your new brother or sister.

love always,

mama x

13 December, 2010

never say never...

i never thought i would say this but i've decided i am going to book into have a cesarean for this birth, as it's going to be easier. in my mind cesarean definitely does not equal easier, however in this instance it does.

i am a planner, through and through. i am also very detail orientated.

the cesarean i experienced with my 3rd child was all but good. firstly i wasn't meant to have one, secondly it happened after 33 hours of labour and thirdly the recovery was horrible. i obviously overdid it at some point and 2 weeks after the surgery i was back to pain like day 1 recovery. it was so bad i had to go back onto the strong painkillers just to get some relief.

now that i've had a cesarean they do not like to induce you due to the risk of labour coming on very quickly and the uterus rupturing. at the end of pregnancy i suffer terribly from severe sciatic back and hip pain which is why i get induced at 38 weeks.

i like the thought of having a v-bac delivery but it just isn't practical for me to wait to go into labour & then if you don't and you go overdue they won't induce you so it's surgery anyway. aside from that already having 3 little children i need to get my mum to fly in to look after them whilst i am in hospital and that just isn't so easy at a moments notice.

so that's my decision and slowly i am getting used to the idea.

my dr has booked me in for the cesarean at 38 weeks and if by some miracle i go into labour before that i would attempt the v-bac.

i can only hope with this time being planned the experience is a little easier for me to take and the recovery better.

fingers crossed and remember never say never...

10 December, 2010

here we are at 8 weeks

feeling ok and morning sickness seems to have subsided. i can't quite believe i will have another baby is just 7 months time... i wonder if it's a pink or blue one this time..

05 December, 2010

freaking out

so i'm freaking out.

in my hormonal, emotional pregnant state i feel like i've got so many people around me saying 'geez 4 kids, you're mad' and 'how are you going to cope?' and 'why would you do this to yourself 'darling'?'

now don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but really, does this help?

i've heard it that much lately i am starting to completely doubt myself, and i hate that.

i have so few people telling me 'oh that's great, how exciting!' and so many of the other i'm seriously starting to get a bit down.

i had a discussion with my very best friend about it and like she says 'what exactly is not coping anyway?' so sometimes things get tough, you have a little cry then you get on with it. is that 'not coping', having a little meltdown from time to time?

do i have any preconceived ideas about this being easy? no, i definitely do not. i already have 3 children under 4 so i know it's going to be tough.

i'm just trying to stay positive, look at this as a complete blessing, know that really i am very lucky and keep the sunshine. and at the end of the day i truly believe things happen for a reason.

30 November, 2010


so yesterday i had some bleeding and i was worried. this pregnancy was a surprise and at somewhat of a little 'difficult' time. it took me a week or 2 to adjust to the thought of being pregnant yet again but it seems once i get there, i'm there.

i can't help but feel attached to this little being inside my belly. i want to feel you grow, feel your movements, see you born and welcome you with wide open arms into our family.

i just know your 2 sisters and brother love you to pieces already and they just can't wait to meet you. lara even said a prayer for you last night asking god to please not let you come out before you are ready - oh so cute.

so this is where we are right now..

28 November, 2010

happy belated birthday

dear baby edi,

well it's been a year since you entered into our family, and the time has just flown by.

a very happy {belated} 1st birthday for you on the 21st november.

you are such a joy and you are learning new things every day. you are currently mastering the art of walking although not without injury. you are learning well however and i just know it won't be long before you are running around.

you are very much loved and we are blessed to have you in our lives.

all our love
mummy, daddy, lara-grace, lachie and jelly bean

23 November, 2010

the results are in...

i realise i have appeared to be a bit quiet lately, i can assure you this has not been the case in my life...

it seems someone in the universe had plans for me..

as you can see here this is a pregnancy test and it is clearly telling me life is going to get to that next level of crazy.

i feel so many emotions at the moment:
1. scared
2. sad
3. excited
4. happy
5. worried

and just kinda generally freaked out!

i feel scared about spreading myself across 4 children and that being too thin.

i feel sad for my very best friend who has been trying to get pregnant for nearly 3 years now and i am having my 2nd pregnancy since she has been trying.

i feel excited at the thought of adding to my family.

i feel happy, as anyone who knows me, knows how much i LOVE new babies.

and i feel worried about just generally not coping.

15 October, 2010

things i love

some things i really love

1. i love the way my son runs up to me when i arrive to pick him up from daycare & says 'mama' in his loudest voice as he runs into my arms.

2. i love the way this journey has introduced me to so many beautiful, talented & inspirational people.

3. i love the way my best friend of 15 years can live 2000km away and we still talk every day & it feels like we live around the corner.

4. i love my pillow & my very comfy bed.

5. i love my children with every fibre of my being.

01 October, 2010

just wanted to share

i just wanted to share my recent photos of my gorgeous children.

my little man..

miss lara-grace..

precious baby edi (aka sausage pants)..

22 September, 2010

will i or won't i......

i'm thinking about another baby.... there i said it out loud.

i am going through a little turmoil at the moment deciding if i want another baby. i have days where i think yes definitely, i'd like another one, and other days where i think i must be loosing my mind to consider another. today is one of those days...

i have a very bored 4yo, a 2yo that is toilet training and who's favourite word is 'no' in a very loud voice and a 10 month old that has discovered movement and a bit of a scream (i suppose to be heard!), plus my husband is away. what am i thinking i tell myself!

if someone had said to me 5, 4, 3, 2 or even a year ago i would be having 4 children i would have waisted no time in telling them they are insane and that is never going to happen. one of the many things i have learnt over the years is never say never....

so will i or won't i? i guess we will have to wait and see....

01 September, 2010

gorgeous gifts

a little while ago i was advised by the lovely suzanna at mon tresor that i had won a gift. i was so surprised as i just seem to be one of those people that just never wins anything.

a few days later this amazing parcel arrived via express post filled with gorgeous things for my girls. i was really so impressed by the packaging on the outside for a minute there for forgot to open it! the presentation suzanna uses is 2nd to none and since then i have been back to purchase headbands which i simply adore.

we received a packet of funky retro striped straws, super cute flute bunny leggings, a sweet cupcake button necklace & 4 adorable hairclips.

04 August, 2010


my dear baby edi,

today you mastered the art of crawling. you have been working on it for a while but just haven't been able to co-ordinate your arms and legs until finally it came together for you today. i saw in your eyes a sparkle that said a whole new world is out there waiting for you to explore.

i am happy for you to progress to this next stage of adventure and a little bit sad for me. it shows me again just how quickly the time passes and that my babies are not babies for long.

you have 2 bottom teeth, big blue eyes, the longest, blackest eyelashes and the lock of hair you were born with on the top of your head. it's almost long enough now for me to put into a top notch ponytail that your big sister is just dying to see.

you are the most gorgeous, delightful sole that brings lots of joy, laughter and happiness to our family.

i love you very much.

mama x

01 August, 2010

august special

goodbye july and hello august!

this month at designer mamas we're having a great offer - 20% off your order!

it's coming to the peak birth months of august and september, and there are babies everywhere!

currently there are 6 prints available - havana rose, cocoa chanel, cosmopolitan, blue lagoon, cherry blossom & english rose. a colour and print to suit everyone.

we also have the super cute treaded 'push out' socks perfect for pacing those cold maternity ward floors.

designer mamas has gift vouchers available to any value which make a great baby shower gift.

visit us today and save 20% off your order!

31 July, 2010


i am embarking on a fitness & weightloss journey. having 3 children in 4 years has certainly taken it's toll on my poor body and being 33 i'm finding things just don't bounce back. each year i get older the struggle seems just that little bit harder.

i have always had to watch what i eat and exercise so i am no stranger to these things, but i have to say it's getting tougher! whilst i do not desire to be as i was pre-children, i want to feel good, both on the inside & the outside.

i have enlisted the help of my lovely sister-in-law belinda, who thankfully happens to be a nutritionist and a kick ass personal trainer, who seriously does kick my ass!

later this afternoon is my session with belinda where we will be taking 'before' photos, this i am NOT looking forward to! she tells me it's a good thing and i will be thankful when i look back that i've taken them, hmm i'm not so sure... however, there are not many things i say no to, so do it i will.

i will keep you all up to date as i work through this journey and i would love to hear if any of you have done/are doing/want to do something similar. the more support we give each other the greater our rewards.

27 July, 2010

noisy children?

this morning i had an 'interesting' thing happen. it was just as any usual morning in our house, i got lachlan up at about 6.30am, dressed him, put him in his highchair for breakfast and he was a happy little camper. i went downstairs to my office to quickly check on an order & instead of being in there for 1 minute as i had planned i was in there about 5 minutes as of course my printer had run out of paper! in this time lachlan had finished his breakfast and was calling out as he usually does 'mummy, mummy,mummy'. i grabbed a loaf of bread out of the freezer from the downstairs fridge for their lunches, headed upstairs and got him out of the hairchair.

i then proceeded as normal, making their lunches etc and i ducked to the toilet at about 7am (not sure i had to share that bit..) then i hear a knock at the door. lachlan is at the door saying 'locked, locked, locked' to the woman on the other side, of whom i had no idea who it could be at 7am knocking on my door. so i hurried and came out to open the door to a woman i had never seen before in my life.

she tells me she is my neighbour (who's house is beside ours but is accessed through a different street) and points to where her house is and tells me she has been awake since 6.30am from my son calling out 'mummy'. i've got to say i was completely gobsmacked and all i can say is 'right..'.

she tells me she has no children (she is about early 50's) and that i don't understand how much the noise carries out of our louvre windows and again how she has been awake from it since 6.30am. again i say 'right...'

she then tells me i really should close my windows on that entire side of my house to stop the noise. 'ummm ok...'

now don't get me wrong, she was not nasty, rude or aggressive but what the hell am i supposed to say to that? my son is 2, somehow i don't think he is going to understand (or care) that our neighbour doesn't like him calling out 'mummy' at 6.30am in the morning.

the other thing is my children are not actually noisy kids. if you have been to my house, as some of you have, you will know most of the time you can not even tell there are any children in the house let alone 3 of them, but at times kids are kids.

one thing i have always said through my parenting is that i refuse to apologise to anyone for my children being children. i am also quite strict on my children and if they are being naughty they know they will be in trouble. calling out 'mummy' does not constitute being naughty in my book.

what would you have done? have you ever had anything similar happen to you?


18 July, 2010

edi elizabeth 21/11/09

i've decided to document my last birth. as we all know memories are never lost but they do fade, details are lost even with the best intentions.

it was friday 20th november 2009 and i checked into the hospital as advised at 7.30am for my induction at 38 weeks pregnant. i suffer terribly at the end of pregnancy with sciatic nerve pain in my back, so my dr is happy to induce me early. so i go in and get placed in to my room, put on the monitor and i am ready to do this - i am ready to get this baby out.

i like to say i had no expectations on the labour and birth, however i would be lying if i said i hadn't had a slight expectation it would be quicker than the last 2 births. my first was 14 hours, my 2nd 10 hours (induced & posterior) so I was hoping by the afternoon we would be meeting our new little baby girl. how wrong i turned out to be.....

at 8am my dr arrived and applied the gel onto my cervix. i was then advised i had to stay on the monitor for 20mins to ensure the baby tolerated the gel ok. 20mins passed and all a-ok to get up and walk around. almost immediately i felt a strange pressure feeling on my cervix. it wasn't a contraction pain but more a constant pressure whenever i was standing up. so through the day we went, seconds, minutes, hours passed and i didn't really feel much different.

my dr came back at about lunchtime and decided i needed more gel - fine i said and he also tried to break my waters, however he couldn't reach them as they were up too high. again hours passed with no real change noticed. he came back again to break my waters at approximately 5pm, again unable to reach them. by this stage i was pretty 'sore' and happy for no more attempts to be made to break them.

it was about 6pm and well and truly after i expected to be holding my new baby. he told me no doubt my waters would break spontaneously overnight and we would have the baby tomorrow - um excuse me, sorry, did you just say tomorrow? tomorrow?

i got over that and more hours passed until at about 8.30pm i decided i was sick of this pressure i had been feeling all day, i was starting to get tired from being on my feet all day and i wanted my epidural. the anesthetist was in surgery i was told and would come over straight after that. ok...

at 10.30pm we were moved into the birth suite, i got dressed in my ghastly gown and set up for him to arrive. i've had epidurals with both of my other children so i did know what to expect. not this.....

3 attempts were made to get the epidural needle in and 3 times he hit a blood vessel. i am told this does happen, particularly when being prepared for a c section. to have it happen 3 times in a row was just really bad luck. i am told i should give up on the idea of the epidural as more punctures in my spine has a greater risk of getting an infection in my spine. i sit on the edge of the bed, still crunched over my very big tummy, silenced by what i hear. i am thinking i can't do this without an epidural - particularly if they are talking tomorrow! so i ask what happens if i get an infection in my spine? he advises i would be given antibiotics and if they didn't work i would need to have surgery to drain my spine. it feels like i am having an out of body experience, is this really happening to me?

i ask him if it was his wife what would he tell her to do - he says forget the epidural. i look at my husband who clearly sees the sheer terror in my eyes and he says 'do you want to give it one last try?' to me that says it's ok to give it one last try. we did and we got it.

whilst the epidural was in and enough for the contractions that came later i knew it wasn't quite right as my legs and feet felt like pins & needles, not numb as i knew was normal.

my waters did break at 3am as my dr at predicted and at 4am my lovely midwife checked me and i was 4cm - progress! it was my dr's weekend off and i was told by many if the midwives that if i had my baby after 8am i wouldn't have him. i just put this out of my mind.

at 7.30am on saturday morning my dr came in to check me. I was still 4cm so we started the drip. the drip was then increased in dosage every hour as allowed. the dr then says he will be back at lunchtime to check on me again, lunchtime i thought? i will be having this baby before lunchtime!

lunchtime came and so did the dr, checking me again and at the time I am thinking anything but 4cm is great, and i really feel like i am making progress now. nope still 4cm - NO! he says there is no reason why this might be happening as i have had 2 prior births and he really doesn't want to give me a c section as he thinks i don't need it. no i replied i definitely do not want a c section! ok lets keep upping the drip each hour and i'll be back at 4pm - ARE YOU KIDDING ME! 4PM!

at approximately 3pm i notice a few extra midwives have come in checking the monitors, checking the drip dosage - hmmm this is not 'normal' i know this. then i hear one of them mutter to the other 'yep definitely i'll go call him right now'. within 10mins my dr is there - i knew something wasn't right. he checks me again and the words that followed i will never forget as they were my worst nightmare... 'you're still 4cm, the baby is now in distress, it's time for a cesarean'

my husband was in my room sound asleep, i felt all alone, my worst nightmare coming true and i bawled like a baby. i sobbed and i sobbed. my midwife quickly ran out of the room to wake my husband to tell him he'd better get in there - he wakes up saying 'ok, we're on, it's time?' 'not exactly' she says 'she needs a cesarean'.

then he was there but not by my side as there seems to be people and things going everywhere. as soon as they stop the drip the baby's heart rate settled which was comforting. even as i right this now some 7+ months later it brings tears to my eyes. i did not want to be cut open - i can do this - i've done it 2 times already!

all the theatre staff and pediatrician who were on call were called in and we were in theatre at 3.30pm. the anesthetist was a different one from the night before but just happened to be the one i had for my first child. he tells me he will use the existing line already in and just 'top me up'. 'ok' is all i can manage. i also need and iv in for recovery medication. i already had an iv in as when i was admitted the day before i was told i had tested positive for group strep b and would have to have iv antibiotics throughout my labour.

he decided that the line that was in was not sufficient and he would have to do another on the side of my wrist - ok... oh but no, for some reason that one wasn't ok either.... over to the other hand - oh no - that's no good either, have to do the side of the wrist on that arm - finally we have success. i am again beside myself at this stage - thinking this is seriously a really bad dream. not only was really where i didn't want to be, i was alone.

thank god i think - lets just get this over with. then the 'top up' of my epidural begins. he tried about 8 times and i could still feel my legs - he is very agitated now and says 'well i don't know what you want to do now, but this just isn't working. do you want a general, do you want me to try and do another spinal on you - but i really don't think i will be able to do that as you have already had your spine punctured 4 times last night and i don't even think i will be able to find a spot or do you just want to abandon the whole idea?' WHAT? abandon the idea, are you serious!

still alone i thought i have got to make the right decision here. i said nothing for what felt like forever then i managed 'well i don't know but i don't want a general anaesthetic'. 'well i'll have to try the spinal' he was very gruff. over the bench we go again, only this time i am having regular contractions and bending over is very painful. so we got the spinal in first go after about 40mins, i was layed back on the table, the blue curtain went up, cambell was allowed in (he knew nothing about what was going on), i was cut open and in 20mins our baby edi elizabeth balderson was born.

10 needles in my back, 4 iv line attempts in my arms and one big cut through my stomach, i'd had my smallest baby and longest, most dramatic labour ever. 7lb 4oz, 50cm long and so very much worth it in the end.


09 July, 2010

new york, new york, new york

so we haven't been away on a holiday without children since February 2006, some 4+ years ago and we only had one child then.

by some miracle next month hubby and i are off on an adventure to new york and las vegas and i have to say i am soooo EXCITED!

will i miss my kids? sure that goes without saying. will i miss only having to look after, feed, bathe & clothe myself? ahhhhh NO!

we have a whole 8 nights of child free bliss and shall i say romance....

empire state of mind (which just happens to be one of my fav songs)

concrete jungle where dreams are made of
there's nothing you can't do
now you're in new york
these streets will make you feel brand new
the lights will inspire you
let's hear it for new york, new york, new york

well i'm going and i hope i feel brand new and inspired in the concrete jungle!

28 June, 2010

my very first time

so here goes, my very first blog.......

i thought it would probably be most appropriate to tell you what we do at Designer Mamas, or more importantly what we offer you.. probably not the thing to do in the blogging world, but i'm yet to find all this out!

when i had my 3 children i was forced to wear one of those hideous very drab hospital gowns. i guess i could have worn whatever i liked if i didn't want an epidural but i am the first to admit i do not like pain and i knew it was going to be painful. so in my ugly gown i got but it meant the pain went away so i thought it was all good.

2 months after i had my 3rd baby, now 6 months old, i found out about the alternative, yes that's right i said ALTERNATIVE! it is the stunning and VERY fabulous B.Y.O.G. (bring your own gown) Designer Hospital Gowns.

i created Designer Mamas as i wanted pregnant women to have a chic, stylish gown to give birth in, even if i didn't! birth can really be a frightening, unknown and wonderful all at the same time and why shouldn't you look good! hey it's your baby's birthday after all!

it is now my personal goal to make you look and feel amazing and if i can make your experience just a little more special i've done a good job.
the gowns come in 6 prints and 2 sizes, so something for everyones taste.
they are available for purchase on my website http://www.designermamas.com.au/ for $129.95
i hope you love them as much as i do!